Tuesday, August 16, 2011

How to stop fantasizing and acting them out?

I faced serious abuse in middle school, i was very isolated and teased, no one to eat lunch with etc. Mainly all this because of my looks and crazy hair, and "bad clothing" etc. I had just immigrated from a foreign culture into a very preppy school with very rich kids, so go figure. In order to cope with the misery of school, i started fantasizing of being the center of attention, of being prettier,of all the men wanting me, of becoming so famous that everyone regretted what they did to me etc. I play music and act out these scenes. Sometimes i am teh spectator staring at the beautiful me, and sometimes I am me walking down the limelights. Its been 10 years since and i still do the same. but the issues and people are different. sometimes they are high school guys i never got with, sometimes friends who i lost to bitter reasons etc. it is always about changing the past or a better future. even when i dont act out, ill still imagine the story in my head, i do this everyday. please help!

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