Can my marriage be saved?Will he ever forgive me?

Me and my husband have been happily married for 8 years.We had 2 kids, one 4 the other 6.Three month ago my younger son Jordon ped away from cancer and it just about killed me.I wasn't dealing at all and left town a month after the funeral to stay with an ex-boyfriend/good friend to get myself together,leaving my husband and 6 yr old on their own.I stayed away for 3 months because I just couldn't deal with being at home where everything reminded me of my son.I came home last week and although my son was overjoyed to see me,my husband has barely said a word to me since I left.He begged me to come home whenever I called but I was never ready until now and now it seems it's too late and he can't forgive me for leaving.I don't believe in getting professional help.What do I do?